“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” Sally Field
With the advent of social media, came a new communication reckoning. A more fluid path to share ideas, opinions, experiences & observations. We wrote, we read, we liked, we shared & we commented. We opened ourselves to being influenced in ways we had never imagined.
Yet, one area still seems largely impervious to change; remaining petrified and impervious.
We do not recognize that influencing how we view ourselves is vital. We seem to crowdsource that opinion from every vantage point — but fail to acknowledge that, on some level, we are indeed the experts.
Ultimately, we fail to influence ourselves (about ourselves).
It’s a very human mistake; but one wholly amplified by this new zeitgeist. Over time, we have become so accustomed (possibly committed) to being noticed by others, recognized by others, made relevant by others and criticized by others — that we fail to listen to ourselves. This can limit our potential in so many aspects of our lives & our work. Other bits of information land at our doorsteps; knowledge that could point out who we really are. But, we don’t seem to budge from that crowd hacked purview.
Even when we are actually the experts of us.
I’ve often thought that therapy is one of the only methods to address this. There is something vital about someone skilled to navigate our moments and misconceptions right alongside us. Yet, even with that exercise, we are often left standing at the proverbial bus stop waiting for a change in our won opinion that never fully manifests.
It seems that changing our self-perception is almost a microscopically slow process. It behaves in a similar manner to constructs such as confidence or falling in love. You shift slowly, until awareness suddenly washes over you. Yet, until that very moment that shift is silent (yet, all the while dividing, growing).
We are often mired in dated assessments of ourselves, long after that summary is invalid.
What holds us back may be a lack of commitment to ourselves. A lack of vision. Or perhaps a lack of hope.
We need to acknowledge that we have grown, evolved, expanded.
Grant ourselves the accolades.
I dare you.
Influence yourself.
Note: I’ve found this article — that might help us begin.
Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist who focuses on bringing core stability to our work lives. She is a charter member of the LinkedIn Top Voice Program. Her thoughts on work & life have appeared in various outlets including the Harvard Business Review, The Muse, Brit & Co, Talent Zoo, Forbes, Quartz and The Huffington Post
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