Author: Marla Gottschalk

The previous owner of my home — “the gardener” as I call her — clearly possessed a passion for the art of the plant. At every phase of the growing season, there are at least two specimens in bloom. The choreography begins early in spring with rows of fuchsia-hued bleeding hearts and extends into the fall with numerous Rose of Sharon trees and sedum plants. I suspect that some of the plantings are quite old (the house was built in 1948), yet many seem to be recent additions. When we first stood in its muddy, quiet wake 4 years ago, something told us that there was a beautiful story about to unfold and it did not disappoint us.

If you’ve personally spent time in a garden, you may know of its power to calm you. You may have also noticed that it doesn’t take long for something peculiar to happen. As you dig — or sit or simply admire the blooms — your mind begins to shift and your muscles begin to relax.

With self care emerging as the antidote to our congested lives, horticulture arrives as a super-hero to save us.

At The Verge, author Lewis Gorden shares the burgeoning field of video games attempting to capture the magic of gardening. Personally, I’m not surprised. When it comes to resetting our minds, no place on earth beats the vibe of a tranquil green space. But, not all of us have a garden handy. As luck would have it, you can now visit them virtually. One lovely option, Rosa’s Garden allows you to immerse yourself in the calming sights and sounds of a garden.

“Rosa’s Garden is a calm and poetic flower game about gardening with roses. Dig little holes in the ground, find seeds, plant them and watch how slowly a rose grows. ” – charlottemadelon.com

In a world where we are bombarded with memes and messages, finding a place of refuge to turn down the volume and slow things down is vital. Nature, of course, is a healer which can affect mind, body and soul. Why and how this happens has been the focus of research for years. The essence of this dynamic seems to rest with how our brains process stimuli. This phenomenon was addressed by one of the founders of psychology William James. As discussed in this Atlantic article, James felt that there were two kinds of attention: directed and involuntary. Direct attention required us to focus (even reading this post requites this)  — involuntary attention is passive. The stimuli can be absorbed with little minimal effort.

The multi-layered experience of a garden, is one that is simply absorbed.

So, plant a flower or two in your own dirt or find a local garden near you. Grab someone to take along to share the experience. Be sure to sit for a time, to ensure that you notice the birds and the breeze.

Or simply download Rosa’s Garden.

The choice is yours.

More on the psychology of gardening here:

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from founding a company — to the perfect gift. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

The wind of change, whatever it is, blows most freely through an open mind. — Katharine Whitehorn

I’ve been told more than once that I’m not an ideal role model concerning change. (To be candid the characterization is absolutely correct.) I tend to balk at the mere whiff of a change — holding on to hope that it won’t ever come to pass. Then adjusting my course will not be necessary. Honestly, this can be a problem.

As you may have read in this post, I’ve been known struggle with even the smallest of changes, muddling along until the “new normal” finally appears. Until that moment, I feel somewhat annoyed and completely out of sync. For better or worse, my “go to” reaction is to delay a change until I can carefully consider every aspect of the situation. Unfortunately, holding time at bay isn’t always an option.

All things aside, I firmly acknowledge the value of flexing our workplace “change muscles”. Yet, knowing ourselves is likely the very first place to look when building these muscles. We all have a leading predisposition when faced with change, which likely represents our collected experiences and given temperament. Of course, this will influence our orientation and initial reaction to change, as well.

This is where things get tricky. (If you manage others, reflect on what this may mean for your team.) We need understand and accept our own tendencies and recognize how this may affect our response.

As a professional who advocates for needed change — here are a few of the predispositions which I’ve observed over the years:

• Piners or Grievers. These individuals lament the coming of change, even when it is inevitable or necessary. They may grieve for the roles, policies, procedures and co-workers of days gone by. They do move on eventually — but often with decreased fulfillment, satisfaction and a measure of sadness.
• Researchers. An unbridled need to gather information is the leading response for this group — as examining the issue from all angles often helps them move forward. Unfortunately, a leading by-product is “analysis paralysis”. Another issue: time may not be a negotiable. (This would be where I fall, although I pine at the start.)
• Supporters or Embracers. These individuals are generally open to change and feel excited to contemplate the future. They may not be the primary driver of that change, yet are happy to see the possibilities and help things move forward.
• Alarmists. For these individuals an impending change triggers intense feelings of urgency. This could lead to premature or risky career behaviors that negatively affect them longer-term. (Such as quitting on a whim, etc.)
• Dreamers. This group always manages to see the best in the current situation, even when there is overwhelming evidence to move on and accept some kind of change. (I would add there is a mild level of complacency operating here). Because of this perspective, they might miss opportunities to properly plan a place for themselves in the new “order” of things.
• Observers. Usually quiet and calm, these individuals take a solid “wait and see” approach. They rarely panic — and prefer to watch things unfold organically. They might superficially support the change, but may eventually exit if the change eventually is perceived as negative.
• Aggressors or Terminators. These individuals feel anger when they are faced with an unexpected change. They may become a strong “naysayer”, vehemently opposing a change and could exhibit negative behaviors without reflection.

After drafting these, I searched for other frameworks that capture how we process change. I happened upon the Kubler-Ross Change Curve, which applies the seminal model of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross concerning grief, to change efforts within organizations. (This theory states that we all move through specified phases when dealing with change, rather than identifying a leading emotion that we deal with over time.) I thought it wise to mention it here.

Where do you fall? Have I missed your leading orientation toward change? Share your style in comments.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial & Organizational Psychologist. A charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program, her posts on workplace topics have appeared at Harvard Business Review, The Huffington Post, US News & World Report and The World Economic Forum.

Recently, I’ve been writing (and revising) my work life manifesto — which attempts to distill my thoughts and guiding principles concerning how I approach work life. (More on this later.) One key principle, which survives every cut — addresses the notion that the people that surround and support us. Whether these individuals share our physical work environment or are connected virtually, doesn’t matter. It is the contribution to work life progress that is the criterion.

The Ugly Side of Networks
We’ve all heard the advice that we require a broad network. That we should build one — and faithfully utilize one. However, what if you realize that you indeed have a network, but it is not helping you move forward? (At least not in the manner that would be meaningful to your work or work life, in this very moment.) What if that network is not supplying what you need to stay strong, to stay focused and motivated?

The difference likely lies in the notion of a network vs. a community.

You see a network isn’t a community. It’s a Rolodex.

You may need to re-visit that network, tear it down and rebuild a community in which you might thrive.

There are elements that might alert you to a need for some quick changes. More specifically — that you need to bring elements of community to your network.
Here are a just few:

• You aren’t discussing ideas — at least not in a way that matters. Remember that your community should provide resources to help you actually digest your ideas and sort out how they can develop. If that this is missing, make no mistake, you are losing.
• Interactions are less than reciprocal. Social media makes connecting very, very easy — but there is a downside. Connections do not equal forward progress. If you’ve discovered that most of your network is happy to use your time and support, but haven’t really returned in kind, it’s time for an audit. (Beware of Remora fish.)
• You no longer believe in them. If you have “lost that loving feeling” and no longer want to share someone’s message (you detect insincerity or purely self-serving goals), consider a replacement. If you are longer invested in their “brand”, lose them. You’ll likely not trust their opinions.
• They no longer believe in you. This is the real deal-breaker. It is imperative that you surround yourself with those that feel you have something to offer. (Please don’t confuse this with honest critiques). If you sense this is a core issue, shuffle them out of your line-up.

Anything else to add? How have you built a strong community to support your work life?

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist. She is a charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program. Her thoughts on work life have appeared in various outlets including Talent Zoo, Forbes, Quartz and The Huffington Post.

It is the season of indecision, in a year of tumultuous adjustments. You may be wondering — would an office gift be inappropriate this year? Well, we’ve tossed this around and here is what we came up with: If your heart is in, do it.

Celebrating the people in your work life that matter is never wrong. In fact, we can’t help but wonder if a thoughtful gift has more meaning than ever before.

How often have you thought of someone you would like to thank, yet you never mustered the motivation to follow through and find the right gift? This may be the right time to finally offer that heartfelt thank you, in a year where we’ve really needed to depend on each other for guidance and support.

We’ve been thinking about all of this decided to go a bit retro. We’ve settled on a few classic ideas which are not only nifty gifts, but are likely to be used or enjoyed, during the coming year.

Here we go.

The Multi-Use Tote
I don’t know about you, but most of us appreciate a practical holiday gift. I personally received this great gift from Maptote a couple of years ago — and I’ve used it frequently (currently sidelined of course, it is holding ribbons in my pantry). Maptote offers clever, destination-based tote bags for a variety of cities and states (they have other items as well). This option is not only a worthy contender, it has some retro flare to boot. Apolis, another great brand also makes market totes — with inspirational sayings helping to make a statement. The “Peace” Market Bag, was given to me as a gift recently and I love it.

Photo: Maptote

The Coffee Table Book.
I received Ocean Worlds, by Jacque Cousteau as a holiday gift from my first employer. (All 160 of us received the same book, sitting wrapped on our desks and this became a highly anticipated tradition.) The books I received during my tenure there, still sit on my coffee table offering hours of enjoyment. One suggestion is below — but there are so many fascinating options at various price points. (Click on the photo for more information.)*

Flowers (and Flower Subscriptions)
In this part of the US, winter are long and lacking in sunshine. The idea of a bouquet of flowers — couldn’t be more appealing, as waiting until early spring to see another bloom is just too long. A subscription service takes this to the next level. (In Britain they call these Letterbox Flowers.) Find my favorite London-based florist Highgate Flowers and subscription options here.) You can explore US options at any of these florists: Farmgirl Flowers, Bloomsy Box & The Bouq.

The Classic Notebook.
Ah… the notebook! Somehow when a notebook presents itself, it calls out to our creative side. Offering one as a thoughtful gift, shares the promise of new ideas and future observations. (Da Vinci couldn’t have been wrong, so we are following his lead.) The variety of choices are endless. We’ve chosen a couple of options below.

Rhodia Lined Notebook* – 5.5 x 8.5 – Fountain-pen friendly. Rhodia offers some colorful options as well. (Click on the photo for more information.)*

Find colorful options from Etsy by clicking here.

The Not So Classic Pen.
Sooner or later you have to ditch the keyboard and actually write by hand. These pens from Retro 1951 & Rifle Paper Co. roller ball pens are a stylish alternative and made our list! Find them here & here.

Photo: Rifle Paper Co.

The Tornado Vintage Blacksmith Roosevelt Pen is a also stylish, retro choice. (Click on the photo for more information.)*

Happy Holidays!

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

*LiveWorkThinkPlaycom is an affiliate of both Amazon & Awin — Etsy’s linking partner. That means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we receive a small commission. We only recommend products that we believe bring value to our readers.